You Will Never Be The Same Person Again

Last year, Barb Aldan finished a quilt. That might seem like a simple thing. In fact, it should have been, as she had always been adept at sewing. But that changed five years ago, when she was driving on a country road near her home in Trent River, Ont. It was the first snowfall of the season.

Less than 15 minutes from her house, another car spun out of control. Her SUV was hit three times – at the front of the car, the driver’s side door, and the passenger door.

After being freed from her car, she went into shock and was rushed to the hospital where she was treated for her physical injuries. But even after her body healed, she knew something wasn’t right. She could no longer concentrate and began to experience memory and communication issues. She was plagued by nausea and balance issues. Aldan was known as being very diplomatic, yet suddenly she found herself with no filter: “I would say things that would horrify me.”

Particularly difficult was realizing she could no longer do simple things she loved, like cooking or sewing.

“When you have a brain injury, you lose a lot of yourself the day of the accident.”

This was confirmed when her counsellor at the Ontario Brain Injury Association later told her, “You will never be the same again. Pick the things that you like about yourself and get rid of the rest. Try to keep moving forward.”

Her primary care physician and other general practitioners she spoke to had little experience with brain injuries. Aldan had trouble articulating what was going on. Six months later, she had a meltdown in her doctor’s office and finally got referred to the Ontario Brain Injury Association.

“The world doesn’t know what a brain injury is, because you can’t see it. And unfortunately, when you have it, you can’t express it until you finally realize what the heck’s going on,” she says.

Barb describes the moment she finally was diagnosed with a moderate brain injury through a neuropsychiatrist 18 months after the accident. “It was life-changing,” she says. The accident had affected her relationships, her mental health, and her self-confidence. She even lost her job – when she went back to work two months after her accident, she learned her job had been divided among three other employees.

Once she got her diagnosis, she began the difficult journey to love the new person she had become – with the help of a committed circle of friends and her supportive husband. It also meant setting goals for herself, like finishing that quilt. Last year, Barb found a mentor who worked with her step by step through the project, which she had started before the accident. It was a huge accomplishment.

“I’m totally different than who I was before. But I think I’m a better version of myself,” she says. “You have to work at it to make it happen. Doctors right from the emergency department to family doctors need to become more knowledgeable when it comes to brain injuries so that they can truly understand what their patient is going through.